“Oh, my day was so busy!”
“I was going to call you, but then I got so busy…”
“Can’t do 4:00…that time of day is too busy.”
“We’d love to, but we’re busy that day.”
Sound familiar? Either you’re saying it or your hearing it, likely on a regular basis.
It’s easy to get caught up in the fallacious belief that if we’re consistently “very busy”, then we must be super productive, important people. If we’re not busy, then we’re failing at life, or at the very least we’re just plain lazy!
But is busy really the badge of honor that society dictates?
Are “busy” people really more productive?
Don’t we usually utter the words “I’m really busy” in an exasperated voice?
Doesn’t it sometimes just feel like a competition to see who’s the busiest of them all?
A few years ago, I happened upon this quote:
“STOP THE GLORIFICATION OF BUSY”
and I literally cheered out loud. Then I printed it out and proudly displayed it.
We all have days or weeks where we’re over-scheduled and legitimately have a lot to do in what feels like very little time. And there are those of us who truly thrive when our planners are bursting at the seams (or the proverbial seams if you prefer to use an app. I may be the only person left with a paper planner, but I digress…).
But to what end? If you’re too busy for the good stuff - real connections with friends and family, relaxation, time in nature - then what is all the busy for?
In the midst of all this, we’ve managed to drag our children with us into the business of busy. School, doctor appointment, soccer, homework, trumpet practice, sleep, repeat. Work harder, practice longer, run faster. How can they help but grow up to maintain this frenetic lifestyle? Is this what we want for them?
What if we challenge the glorification of busy?
Begin with some self-awareness. If you utter a tired, exasperated “what a busy day!” at the end of most days, then ask yourself these questions:
· Am I “too busy” because I’m avoiding something I really don’t want to do? (i.e. Is it fear that’s keeping me busy?)
· Did I grow up in a culture/family that taught me that if I’m not busy, then I’m lazy?
· Could I be caught up in the trend of a busy culture?
· Is my busyness keeping me from being present in my own life and the lives of those I love?
Once you’ve examined your answers to these questions, the next step is to decide if you’d like to make some changes and re-prioritize.
I came across this quote from Wall Street Journal writer Laura Vanderkam a few months ago, and it’s really stuck with me: “Instead of saying ‘I don’t have time’ try saying ‘it’s not a priority,’ and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: ‘I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.’ ‘I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.’ If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.”
Now ask yourself these questions:
· What/who are my priorities?
· Do these priorities have a place on my to-do list?
· Have I included my own mental and physical health in my list?
· How can I be more present in my own life and the lives of those I love?
Challenging old ways of thinking and re-evaluating oneself can be stressful, but could result in something wonderful.
I’ll leave you with one of my all-time favorite quotes (from poet Mary Oliver):
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
(Click here for a guide for bringing more mindfulness into your day – simple ways to slow down and be present.)
