No way around it – life is tough right now for pretty much everyone. There’s no need to list all the reasons why 2020 is a mess – we’re still living it every day.
As a means of getting through it, I’ve found myself searching for joy - and I’m definitely not the only one doing this. Lately, I’ve come across a lot of social media posts and articles addressing this very topic. Although, looking for joy is not something that’s new to me. I have a daily gratitude practice, which helps me to be aware of the small, simple joys that are a part of everyday life.
However.
Because life is super heavy right now (and consistently for the past 10 months or so), I’ve noticed that my moments of joy seem to be cut short either by feelings of guilt or fear. How can I be smiling and happy when there’s so much suffering in the world? Does finding joy mean I’m ignoring all the pain and grief that so many people are currently experiencing? What’s happening to our world?!
The other day I was taking a walk, and found myself in a moment of bliss – the air was cool, the leaves were crunching under my feet, and the sun was just beginning to set. I felt truly happy. But the minute I realized how great I felt, I found myself wondering, is it okay to feel this good in the midst of all of this sadness?
Then, the other day as I was preparing to teach a kids’ mindfulness class, I realized that it’s not just okay to focus on joy, it’s a necessity. Whether we’re in the midst of a pandemic or not, we need to recognize the joy, the beauty, and the moments that make us say “thank you”.
Regardless of the fact that there’s a lot of crappy stuff going on right now, joy still exists. It’s just as much a part of life as whatever else is going on in the world. When we’re mindful, we’re aware of all of it: good, bad, ugly.
Mindfulness is not about being happy all day long – it’s not even about striving to be happy all day long – it’s about awareness of the present moment, whatever might be happening. So mindfulness is also not about grasping on to grief and pain, or remaining in a painful place for the sake of others who may be suffering. When you’re truly aware, then your eyes are open to the beautiful, gentle moments as well as the darker ones. When the darker feelings come up, recognize them, accept them with a curious, open mind, and let them be. If we don’t grasp tightly and give them a reason to stick around, then they move on.
In mindfulness class, we teach the kids about the power of kindness, self-compassion, and gratitude. We also teach them about the negativity bias – that we, as humans, are wired to notice the bad more than the good. It’s a survival tactic. But that also means we’re missing tons of wonderful, joyful moments. What could life be like if we were more aware of the joy?
We also teach kids about their brains, and the stress response. Since stress is pretty constant these days, our brains are getting used to this level of stress as the “new normal”, and that’s not good. Chronic stress leads to mental and physical illness. Some of the things that help our body lower its stress levels are laughter, social interaction (even virtually!), kindness, and gratitude. We need these things in our lives in order to stay safe and healthy. Joy is a necessity.
We all have the power to create space between what’s happening and how we respond to it. With practice, we can notice, accept, and keep moving forward. So try not to hold onto the bad stuff so tightly that you get stuck there and miss all the good stuff. Stay present and keep looking for joy.
Pause for a moment and notice: Where have you found joy today? Want to begin a mindfulness practice, but don’t know where to start? Contact me here for a free consultation!
